Really upside down #2

[Neilh23]

UD-
oh yes. It took me quite awhile to NOT talk about the R. I think about a month after we physically separated did i just decide to stop. It wasn't getting me anywhere, and i felt like i was running into a brick wall. Now, that was before i found this place. Have I had any R talks since i found this place? Yes. It's normal. Almost like checking up on your progress to see if their feelings have changed. and guess what? Verbally, no they haven't. However, if we remember that actions speak louder than words....my sitch is a heck of a lot better, and my R is better. Is it where i want it to be? Nope. But, and here's the catch, it's going to take time. We have alot of time. And this thought seriously just occurred to me....i would rather endure this time of pain and suffering to get to happiness with my W than to never have the chance to experience the happiness i deserve to have with her. Look at Smartcookie. Look at Twindad. Look at all the other people who have endured.....and won.

I guess what i am saying is that just go with the flow. Let her initiate any R talks. Maybe it'll seem forced for awhile like you're forcing yourself to just be friendly. But that's where it all starts. Michelle said start with a beginners mind. That's really where we do need to begin. AGain.

ya know?