Itelling me to give up and she apologized and told me not to give up and that her sis isn't thinking straight.
Give up? It depends on what that means? If it means you are going to keep trying to control this situation and force her to stay married, and keep looking for the words or actions to change her mind and agonize over everything then I think your chances of success are probably lower. It's just not attractive. It's weak. Most women don't like weak needy men.
Were you like this when she first dated you? How have you changed? What attracted her to you in the first place?
There's no need to "give up," but to expect you can change this and to try to coerce her into changing her mind is probably not helpful. You are better off "leaving the door open" to your marriage. You don't try to pull her through it, or convince her to come in, or scare her about what she's going to find outside. You just leave it open. Be cordial, do your own thing, create a great life for you... look great be an amazing guy... and if you do a great job at that she may get intereted and decide to walk through that door. (Or you may have other women peeking in because something interestes them)
And it may be that she doesn't want to enter that door. And that's something you need to come to terms with.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
