so D3.5 pukes again. she calls me and says to me "I need you to take D2" I said i would, but the more i thought about it, the more i got pissed off. The least you could do is ask!
so i text her to call me back. I ask how d3.5 is doing. she says better. I ask when do you want me to come and get D2? she says like half an hour....and then proceeds to list off all the things that she doesn't think she can do when she has the both of them. I said, look, "i'll take D2, but i don't appreciate how you asked me. You said you Needed me to do something..." Then she says "you're right, i'll take care of it. I shoulnd't have asked.... you can see them tomorrow morning." I was like "wait a minute...i said i would, i don't mind...i just didn't like the way you asked." WTF.
Is this tough love? Like, she has to deal with this mess by herself? Why did she throw in the bit about "you can see them tomorrow?"
WTF.
Hey Neil, my H used to do that too, one bad conversation, & the relationship isn't as good as he thought it was. Take a breathe, it's okay for her to get mad, she's not mad at you specifically, she's just got a sick kid, she's probably tired, & she wants to vent. Sure she could have asked nicer, which if she didn't have a sick kid & wasn't overly tired, & emotional she may have. It's called the chicken egg dance, FG taught it to me.
Here's mostly what she's mad about.....
herself for being in this situation that she's cleaning up gross puke that she's tired that the kids are whiney & maybe missing you that her live sucks at the moment that she's PMS'ng, & feels like a b*tch to you & the kids
She just finished telling you she's completely overwhelmed & exhausted, & then you gripe at her for not being polite....she takes your gripe as a complaint, she now feels guilty for asking for help, because "supermom" wouldn't need help So she takes it back, & then tries to hurt you because she's hurting. Make sense ?
It doesn't sound like she needs tough love. It sounds like she needs a friend and someone who will call her back & offer to help her. I know it's not wired into men to offer help, but it is with women. We are offering to help creatures, & we love it when you guys offer to help us.
What do you need now ?
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
It's called the chicken egg dance, FG taught it to me. 
