I will ask the pastor to talk to FIL about all this. When pastor says jump to FIL, he says how high how far and how many times :-)
This is pretty good. Did you tell the pastor that your inlaws have decided that she just has to "make her own mistakes?" I can't imagine the pastor would be very impressed with their position.
This must be quite an embarassment for the church as a whole if her parents are that close to the administration.
My guess is the pastor has read some material on affairs, how to end them etc. You would have to gauge that. If the pastor knows how to work with wayward spouses and has training and experience there then let him talk with her, but if he's just going to try to bullhead your wife into doing what she's told, he could do more damage.
We really need to find out what his approach is going to be. If you read the url's and the books you likley have a pretty good idea how what TO do and what NOT TO do when approaching her.
If you try to corner that wildcat you could end up doing more damage, if he's going to just let her talk about how she feels, give her some things to think about and let her visit iwth him regularly to talk it might help...it all depends on his approach.
Your friends sound like they are taking the gentle approach to, which tends to work better than strongarming someone into ending an affair.
