Lissie, maybe the last person you want to hear from, but I know you and I know what you are feeling right now.
At this point it is time to figure out for yourself how to deal with all of the disappointment because he isn't showing any signs of not being one.
Your kids are safe with you, they have a wonderful mother who protects them and raises them the way that you and the X meant for them to be raised.
When they are with him, they are not as safe.So what can you do to make that better for them?Nothing different then you are doing now. You love them, you comfort them when they call, and you try and refocus them on the happy things that they do have in there lives.
Your kids will always know where there true guidance came from that raises them into the people that they will become in life. You have to have faith that as they grow older, when they look back upon their childhood and all that occurred for them. They will know who it was that truly raised them.
I can tell you from being a child of divorce that this is the truth. I look back at my life and know that i got my good traits from my mothers behavior and actions and unfortunately my bad one's from my dad's behaviors and actions. I know who stepped up when they divorced and who did not and I am grateful to my mother for being strong and instead of lashing out at my dad in front of me, comforting me when he did many of the same actions as your X and making me feel better. No matter what my dad did, I always knew that I would be okay as long as I had my mom.
Your kids will always know that they will be okay because they have you Lissie. You are their rock, their foundation for the people that they will become, and the reason that your X's actions will not do permanent damage to your children.
Your a great mom Lissie and your kids are very lucky to have you. Maybe it's time to focus on how to not let Puffdouche's actions affect you so much and hurt you. After all, he is the one who is failing, not you bean.
