It's easier for you to face OM because you weren't a complete victim in the situation
I don't think any of us are a "complete victim" in the failure of our M. I don't see myself as being one. We have all done things to help with the breakdown of our M, but many of us didn't realize what we were doing wrong because our spouses didn't complain until they already made up their minds to leave. That is where fault lies with our spouses.
When my H and I were going to MC I changed all of the things he complained about me and it still didn't matter. He found something else to complain about. Our MC said to me later that she never heard of such stupid excuses of why my H wanted out of the M. (Especially the one where he didn't like how I made the bed because I put too many pillows on it for his liking)
I belive we all contributed but the ultimate responsibility of the failure of the marriage in most cases is on the WAS. Most of them have other issues that they are running away from and are not ready to work on them or themselves.
