The other thing is, and I know this is going to open a huge can of worms, but IMP, you were smoking out and ignoring what your wife wanted and then you changed after she left. There's a difference, because you can look at your actions and know how they contributed to the demise of your marriage. It's easier for you to face OM because you weren't a complete victim in the situation. Cinder's didn't do anything wrong, she is completely innocent. Our brains want life to be fair and if it isn't it's harder to get over it. I know, I know, everyone can think of some things they should have done better or more of and I'm sure Cinders, the sweetheart she is will think of something, but the demise of her marriage is really in no way her fault.
