instead of being grateful that God spared his life he had guilt and anger and shame. He felt as though there were so many who had died who had families that needed them and should have been chosen to live instead of him.I think that is how I feel when I come to these boards to post.
But you can't know why you were chosen. There are so many reasons that we cannot see.
An amazing thing happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I've been having some work done on my house, and the contractor is a member of my church. He had been here for about a month, and just before he left, he said he wanted to sit down w/ me and tell me something. Well, apparently, when he started the work, he was having big problems with his W, to the point that he had gone to see a L. They are a young couple with a 2 y/o son, and he (contractor) is the oldest of 8 children; his mother has been a widow since her children were young.
So, he said that, as he was working on the house, and particularly my son's room, he was thinking about his W and son. He saw how much work it was for me to take care of everything, and how little my kids see their father. And he didn't want that for his family. So he decided to have a big talk with his W and work things out.
And they did. There was a big, but fairly easily resolved, issue that was causing the problems, and they found a solution.
Now, this has nothing to do with MLC, but everything to do with God's plan. I don't believe that God is happy to see a M end, but if it does, He can still make something good come out of it. I am much happier; I am closer to God; and my sitch saved a marriage! Not only that, this guy is a role model for his seven siblings. Who knows what a difference this could make?
Happy, we all come here wanting our M's to be saved. In the beginning, I will admit to feeling jealous of those who did get there. However, as we mature in our journey, I think we really do feel nothing but sincere happiness for those who make it, and regain a HEALTHY R.
I do agree with you that there are probably a number of Ss on here who aren't in MLC. My XH wasn't. Or at least, he had other, more serious issues that came to a head, possibly as a crisis, but they were there before and still are.
The reason I seldom post is that I find it hard to see people suffering, and I just want to make it stop. But that's not effective advice, so I tend to stay away. I think you are the same, only you act on your desire to advise! But people can get that kind of advice by just picking up the phone or a magazine. They come here to get advice on saving their M, regardless of whether you or I or anyone else thinks it is worth saving.
All the best to you, H.
Nicola
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
