I have to say I was a bit encouraged by the fact that H called soon after he left lastnight to say goodnight. I shouldn't have been...today he's very distant again.
On the sex thing...not sure if I will initiate it again...when we are in the middle of it he seems to let his guard down, but back it comes when it's over. I don't feel used....don't know how I feel really. I'm so confused...I am so afraid to stop expressing interest in sex for fear he won't think I've changed. I'm mad that someone that pledged their life long love to me can't be understanding enough to give our family a chance. I'm thinking maybe there is another woman...I feel defeated.
