CW, So glad that you checked in. I've been wondering about you. Moving must be really hard, just more upheaval. I am still in our house, and hope to be indefinitely because I love it and so do the kids. It's hard in its own way to be here with photos of H&I up on the wall, and memories of our life together--but I can't imagine having to move out right now.
And I feel the same way about forgiveness. It's a great thing to aspire to, but hard to imagine after what we've been through. (Check my thread for a new unforgiveable thing my H said recently. I'm really struggling.)
But--hey--you had a DATE?? I am happy for you (I think it's a great sign that you're moving on) and also a little envious because I simply can't imagine how I will ever end up on a date again. All the men I know are married and even if I met someone available, I feel like I can't trust anyone if I couldn't trust H to be who I thought he was. But--my wedding ring is off and that feels good. To heck with standing for my M--I'm done. For me it's been 9 mos since the bomb, and I'm open to dating in theory. How did your date come about--I am SO curious!
Me/X-H: 47/48 T 19 yrs M 16 years D14 D10 ILYBINILWY: 10/07 H moved out 6/08
I met this gentleman through a divorce support group. His wife was unfaithful and moved out last Spring. We both know each other's situations, thoughts on relationships and the like. It's nice because we both don't have to avoid talking about our stbx spouses, which is key because the move, the divorce, dealing with the kid fallout is the biggest thing in my life right now. It's not like it's the only thing we talk about it, but I think that if I had to avoid all mentions of my STBXH I would be leaving out a big chunk of me and my life. He's great and I really enjoy our friendship.
Me: 42/H: 37 T: 10 years/M: 8 D9, S8 Bomb: 7.23.07 Separated: 1.20.08 D Final 3.19.09 Affair started in '05, found out parts in 11/07. They married 11.26.09
That's great and inspiring, CW. Is it a religious-based divorce support group? I've tried to find a group (not to meet men, just for support), but the only ones I know about are Christian. I prefer one with no religious affiliation.
Anyway, keep it up! There is a man I have always been very attracted to who lives on the; his kids go to the same school as mi next block. He and his W just separated in January (I believe he pulled the ILYBINILWY on her, so I should probably not pursue him). He now lives in the basement apt of their house, which is kind of odd. Even if I had the courage to call him, it would feel weird to know he essentially still lives at home since I know his wife.
Me/X-H: 47/48 T 19 yrs M 16 years D14 D10 ILYBINILWY: 10/07 H moved out 6/08
I had stopped checking on you, thought you were taking a long break from here...I am sorry about your little one.
It's funny how I don't care stbxH is taking the kids. Should I feel guilty about it? I was in the beginning, had all this anger him leaving me meant I had to live part of my life without "my lives" but now, I look forward to some time alone...
I am happy you are dating, seriously or not. I am already beyond the 9 months mark and I feel ready to date too. Let's see how that will work out...
Take care of you, have a happy life in your new house, make it a home, Love ya K
