I have anger management counseling, coming up this week. I have spiritual husband improvement counselign, coming up tomorrow. I have Tender Warrior one-on-one with my pastor, and Bible study Sunday and Wednesday night. I exercise every day, but I still have to build up to what I used to do in 2003. I did a wide variety of aerobics and a 3 mile run.
I have anger management counseling, coming up this week. I have spiritual husband improvement counselign, coming up tomorrow. I have Tender Warrior one-on-one with my pastor, and Bible study Sunday and Wednesday night. I exercise every day, but I still have to build up to what I used to do in 2003. I did a wide variety of aerobics and a 3 mile run.
All of that's good, but does any of your counseling deal with or help with your depression? And if you already are getting counseling re: the depression and it's just not working, then I would probably suggest trying another counselor or trying AD's (from your doctor) and seeing if those help. Once you get the depression straightened out everything in your life will be easier (at least it is for me and I think will be for you also). Karen
My GP diagnosed me with depression. She gave me scrip for Lorzapam for sleep and Wellbutrin knock-off. I'm skeptical about the ADs. Mood altering. Sounds too much like my old druggie days.
My GP diagnosed me with depression. She gave me scrip for Lorzapam for sleep and Wellbutrin knock-off. I'm skeptical about the ADs. Mood altering. Sounds too much like my old druggie days.
Have you been taking the Wellbutrin as directed? I take prozac and haven't noticed any side-effects or drugged out ness (I may have experimented in college myself) or anything like that. She started me out with a tiny dosage and gradually added until I'm at the current dosage. And if you are feeling drugged-out or having side effects, then you should ask your GP for another med. There are so many out there, no need to put up with that. And if the Wellbutrin isn't helping, I would suggest asking your GP for a higher dosage and/or another medication also. After a few weeks on them, you should be feeling better on them if they are actually working I think. Karen
Thanks for that. But I'm still afraid of doing drugs to get myself to proper sanity. Did you ever see the movie THX 1138? No matter, I appreciate your help. But drugs is an area in which I am extremely jittery and have a lot of reservations. In my estimation, why stop with mood elevators? Why don't I just ask for a prefrontal lobotomy and get it over with once and for all?
Please don't get me wrong because of what I just said here. I do appreciate all the help, advice, and support that you, Phil, Puppy, iamlost, and everyone has given. I know you're all concerned. But the solutions that make the most sense to me are either a complete and permament separation from my emotions and my long-term memory, or leave this earth. Quite frankly, the latter appeals to me more because I'm old and tired, worn out, and I've done enough damage to everyone's lives. I know God can forgive me, and He can give me the rest I want, where I'll be able to rejoice again and I won't have any sadness about what's going on here. I also know I must wait for His time, I just can't bring myself to take my own life since that's His prerogative. But there is nothing wrong with me praying for deliverance.
Oh, Lord above, JeffSTL! How could you live like that??? Oh, Merciful God, it must've been a real nightmare!
I'm happy for you that you are spending so much time in the sanctuary, and that you worship with a congreagation devoted to God. Please stick by Him. At least you didn't rebel against him for 20 years, like I did. My life is a prime example of what happens to those who profane the name of the Lord.
Thanks for that. But I'm still afraid of doing drugs to get myself to proper sanity. Did you ever see the movie THX 1138? No matter, I appreciate your help. But drugs is an area in which I am extremely jittery and have a lot of reservations. In my estimation, why stop with mood elevators? Why don't I just ask for a prefrontal lobotomy and get it over with once and for all?
Well, I view medication as sometimes necessary and sometimes not. If you've been depressed for a month or more, then it might be something to seriously consider (esp. since you were diagnosed with depression and prescribed AD's). Do you feel that people that take medications for diabetes or cancer are doing the wrong thing also? If you are seriously depressed, which it sounds like you are, in my opinion that is serious as diabetes and cancer, or can be.
If you have had drug problems, I would def. talk to the doctor about your concerns as I know some medications would not be good to take, but sometimes AD's are necessary I think, or at least an option that should be considered. AD's haven't really changed my personality or brain, but rather returned me to my former, pre-depressed state. No one here would suggest you get a lobotomy and AD's in as low a dosage as is helpful doesn't seem analagous to lobotomies, really. That's like comparing to a stubbed toe to death or something, a bit exaggerated I think....:) Karen
I have read through everything. First of all, you have got to find a way to let go and find other things to occupy your thoughts. I know this is painful, we have all been through similar situations, but you are wallowing in your pain, rather than finding a way to channel it into productive energy.
56 is not too old to get on with your life. You can find things to do to get out of the house. Go for walks, take up some form of exercise, find some activities to get involved at church--outside of all the counseling you are doing.
I see all your talk about going to God as giving up. You need to step out on faith that the Lord will provide you the means to cope.
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."--Matthew 7:7
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
56 is not too old to get on with your life. You can find things to do to get out of the house. Go for walks, take up some form of exercise, find some activities to get involved at church--outside of all the counseling you are doing.
I see all your talk about going to God as giving up. You need to step out on faith that the Lord will provide you the means to cope.
"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you."--Matthew 7:7
SMW
Good post, SMW! In the Bible devotion I was reading today, it talked about God doesn't make mistakes, so when you feel like you're in a dead end or whatever, it is where God wants you. I think you can take this experience and turn it into a positive: work on yourself, get closer to God, make new friends, get in better physical shape by exercising, try to help others, etc. I've been reading and learning and feel I've learned from this experience, learned to become more appreciative, and not sleepwalking through life. So in a weird way I am kind of happy that this stuff has happened to me (maybe I'm a closet masochist?) Karen
I hope you all do well, and I'm glad the books, the program, and the support of others here has helped you so much.
But my story is different. 26 years ago, I was the OM. I've disrupted families, took waht wasn't mine, rebelled against God, wasn't a better influence on the woman who became my W, dishonored my mother & father, and generally brought pain to everyone whose life I touched in this.. I fell like the scum of the earth. Whatever happens to me is only fitting punishment, and is a lot less than what I truly deserve.
Karen