I'm sorry, but I do understand. As "pro-marriage" as we all are around here, sometimes it does get to a point where it's a matter of personal integrity for you.
Just let go, and lean on God. Instead of asking Him to "shorten your days," pray for Him to show you what HE would have you be doing in your life. Many men find great purpose at this stage of their life, and perhaps there is something far greater planned for you, and she was holding you back.
Just food for thought, but mostly just a man-hug of support.
It's been burning me off and on that the OM interfering in my marriage was brazenly doing it for 4 years starting with the week after my marriage. I know where he is most of the time, and I've tossed around the idea of walking up, knocking on his door, storming in, and beating the ever-loving daylights out of him. I almost did it last week.
PDT, I only wish I could touch Him now. He's all I really have left to my life. And I just feel like I can't live here any more.
Do you have anyone you can talk to? You said earlier that you would never do anything to hurt yourself, but I'm starting to get concerned again by the way you're talking.
I have not read through your entire thread, just this last page. I am going back to the beginning, but wanted to stop here at the end, first, and give you some words of encouragement.
I know it is devastating when you find that the life you have been living is being perceived as a lie by the person you have shared it with. You want to rail at everyone, but most especially at God, for destroying your dreams. I know, I did it.
My friend, you MUST turn to Him now, and seek comfort and guidance in his words. Our Lord does not wisdh for you to hurt yourself or someone else, he wants you to seek peace and unconditional love. I want you to find your Bible now and read Psalm 56. When I began posting to you, I was guided to this Psalm, most especially verse 11:
In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.
In all things praise Him, as He will always provide what you need.
I will be back after I read.
SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
Hey mycroft69 sorry to see you here, I'm stopping by at the request of Puppy a person I really respect on this site.
Quote:
mycroft69: It's been burning me off and on that the OM interfering in my marriage was brazenly doing it for 4 years starting with the week after my marriage. I know where he is most of the time, and I've tossed around the idea of walking up, knocking on his door, storming in, and beating the ever-loving daylights out of him. I almost did it last week.
I've been there, told W if I ever get my hands on OM I would beat the crap out of him with a baseball bat. - I was very angry and I still am a little, point being, it didn't make me look good in W eyes and it would only casue more trouble.
I don't understand these guys messing around with married women, they are sick
I took out my anger on a wall several times broke my hands. I was always willing to reconcile but W wasn't. I didn't have a choice and most people here don't have a choice in whats going on in their lives, we can be open to reconciliation and work on improving ourselves, take care of ourselves. It does get better, it takes time alot of time.
There are a lot of good people here, trying to help each other and Puppy is one of the best.
Hi. I haven't read your whole situation but will try to help. Yes it is terrible to be in so much pain but I do believe that by looking at other people situations and trying to help, you do help heal yourself.
You must take care of yourself. It is not an option. If you crash and burn how will that ever help to get your wife back? This situation has changed who you are as well. Try to keep a picture of yourself in your mind...the you that you want to be. That will help you stay focused.
Nobody here deserves the hand they were dealt, the goal is to play it out the best we can. God bless.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I just wanted to let you know that I am the other side of your coin. I don't know if I can be much help, but I do feel your pain. My H is the WAS and he is having an affair with OW but even to this day, and he is filing for D, he will not admit it to me.
I am so sorry for you. I am not the greatest example, but I know I have to leave him alone and give him his space. That's really all we can do right now. I hope I can be of some help for you to see the other side. Please let me know if you want my help.
You are not going to beat up the other guy. One you have no proof. Two you have no proof. Three you have no proof. Even if you did have proof it will not make the situation better using physical violence on someone.
Put you prayers in the Lord. Ask him to break the chains on your wifes heart.
Thanks to all of you, and PDT, rest assured I won't suicide. Like I told Phil, I tried it once in 1978, and again in 89. Just couldn't do it; I'm too much of a coward. And I have a $100K life insurance policy, which pays nothing if I die by suicide. After the D is final I will change the one who benefits to my step-grandson, somehow.
I talked to my friends in Charlotte; they have a DJ gig to run right now. Went looking for a friend in Burlington who was a member of the church I used to attend in 1974 and 1980. He wasn't in, even after 2 tries. Looks like I'm on my own tonight.
It wasn't enough of a shock to find out that she was bent on leaving me anyway. But it was worse when I realized why she was so ready, and that I never had a marriage, ever. She even said that the day before she left, but I thought she was making some kind of derogatory comment about me.
PDT, I just yearn for peace, once and for all. I'm so tired, and God says it's okay for us to want to be with Him. And I do. My usefulness here has run out. I think He will come for me sometime soon. Maybe not today, tomorrow, or next week, but soon in His time. I pray He finds me ready.
