To answer your question about forgetting. Actually, I remind myself almost everyday what happened and why it can't happen again. I don't do it to bring up the bad stuff. I mostly do it to look at and continually evaluate my own behavior. . . and to think how blessed I am to get this second chance. That we both get this second chance. I do truly believe we are soulmates. I believe that is why he chose to give me, and us a new beginning.
We took it very slowly and we continue to go slowly. He just put his wedding ring back on this past week. I never asked and I never pushed. As I explained to my C back in February. It was a promise that I made to myself to not bug him about it because I KNOW that he knows how important the rings are. It was something we argued about during C. He didn't think I realized the importance. So I felt that if I were patient he would begin wearing it when he was ready, my pestering him would not help things. I'm glad I had the patience.
I just scanned through your thread and it looks like you are on the right track. All I can say is have patience. Know when to back off. The last thing you want to do is scare him off because you're all ready to embrace him and bring him back into your life. He needs time and you need time. Another thing that my C brought up is that there is this weird transitional period that nobody likes to be in. But you need to wade through it and let things be ambiguous for awhile. If you move to quickly you can fall back into old habits and things can fall apart again. If you wait and are willing to live with ambiguity for awhile you'll both carve out a new beginning. I would like to think that is what H and I are doing. We were S in September '07. I did some major things wrong, but by October I was coming to terms with myself. I wasn't blaming anymore. By Nov we were talking again. By Thanksgiving we were dating and by the end of December he asked if it were okay for him to move back in. He started moving his stuff back and was fully, physically back in our home by February.
Keep up the PMA and GAL. Don't be disappointed if he says no or isn't ready to do something. It isn't personal. He needs space and time. As do you. You may not feel like you do, but as you gain more sense of self you will be ready to move ahead with a new and better relationship!
Me: 37 H: 35 M: 6 T: 8 2 cats, 1 dog, 0 kids S: 09/10/07 D started 9/21/07 (I stalled) Piecing: 11/9/07
