H left a message on my work phone to call him about S19 schooling. S needs police check and medical tests so that he can work in hospitals and nursing homes.
Anyway I figured that since H is off work he could take him and pay for all of the tests.
No problem he did and then leaves me a message as to why he has to go for all of these tests. I heard the same "tone" that I was so used to when I had to walk on eggshells around him and I decided I didn't want to listen to him be "short" so I didn't return the call.
That was 5 days ago. I called him yesterday because I wanted to...
It went something like this....
E hi there
H hi
E what's up
H just getting up
E I know aren't vacations great
H uhh yea
E I just was calling because I didn't want you to think that I only call because I need something
H oh (he never was a morning person )
E how was your trip?
H good
E good I'm glad you had a nice time.. and the kids had fun too
H yea, how was your trip?
E we had fun. the driving was hilarious. It was a girlly road trip , that's for sure
H thats good
Then he asked about S19's school and why all these tests.
We talked about stuff how I had gotten a new weedwhipper and it's a pretty good one, so I'm told.
Talked about the yard which used to be his therapy and I asked him questions about how to do this and that although I do know how to do it I wanted him to feel needed.
He said the yard looks good. I thanked him and told him about how I sit still and watch the birds while the dog watches and chases. It's funny and relaxing too.
He said a few things about when he came over to pick S up and the dog was rubbing her head on his leg and wanted him to pet her.I could definatley tell he misses her.
I asked him how his house was coming and he said he's tired of working on it. I told him to stop by for a coffee and he said it wouldn't be today. I said that's ok I have some running around to do because I'm having a bar-b-que tommorrow.
I bet he was flipping in his shoes as this is one thing that used to freak me right out. 180 big time!!
When we would have people over he would do the bulk of the job because he wanted it his way and now I'm doing this all alone and I'm fine.
It will not be fancy but it will be fun and a nice visit with friends.
He said he had fish for me if I'd like it.
Sure anytime he has fish I'll take it. He said he would drop it off.
He talked about my job and I told him that I was working on it and that I had a few things in the works...for him not to worry.
About son's ride to school....not to worry we'll figure things out and it will all fall into place.
We talked some more for probably about 15 - 20 min and I was all positive... because really that is how I'm feeling right now.
He was going to leave and I interupted him with another question about the yard. He saiad he would drop me off some stuff to kill the weeds.
I said I had to go because I had some running around to do.
He thanked me for calling and I said NP cya
30 sec later the phone rings,it's him. He asked if I wanted the fish for the bar b que and I said no that it was on saturday and that I didn't want to share it anyway
He said ok and that he would drop it off.
I felt really good about the phone call and It seems as though he is hurting.
I have a question?
Do I let him come to me?
What next?
I like Jack's analogy of the squirrel in the park and if you read this Jack can we please talk.
I really could use some opinions.
E
"Sometimes in the winds of change, we find our true direction"
) 
