ok, I don't have comment about the support stuff. But I do have a point.

Buster, your talks with your wife when picking up your son have a pro and a con :

Pro. They give you a chance to expose her to the NEW you, to interest her again, to make her realise the OLD YOU is GONE.

Con. They also fill her in on every detail of your life so she doesn't have to worry, nor does she have a chance to fantasize.

If you can get IN and perk her curiosity about you and then SPLIT right when she's showing interest, THAT is ideal.

Its like a concert, always LEAVE them wanting MORE of you.

My sense is you give her everything you have until you run dry and then leave. This is suicide.

Try to leave her a bit of mystery to solve about you. Dates are like that, and that's what you want these to feel like, five to ten minute dates. You have to win her over and split so she will want to call you back.

It sounds like for the most part you have a handle on the do's and don'ts. My one comment though is if she says "GET OUT" in a funny way trying to warm up to YOU...DON"T PISS ON IT BY BRINGING UP YOUR LIVING SITUATTION.

She was flirting with you and you pissed on it, from my reading anyways. IT sounded like you had her on the line and then slapped her down.

I would have just nudged her back and said "WAY baby" and smiled.

You want to try to sneak in a date here if you can, but dates don't spil your guts on the table, you charm, entrance, amuse, and interest the other person and then you LEAVE.

Played well on the whole, but try to keep it up beat if she will.

I agree with puppy here though, she has to realise you aren't on the same page with the affair. But TELLING her this OUTRIGHT is NOT the way to do that. THat is how you provoke a fight and drive her far away.

AS far as things you can say to floor her. You told me you were thinking of writin ga song, well here's your chance. Write the lyrics. Find a really good line and give them to her ONE at a TIME on each visit, and then SPLIT. Its a very long drawn out song if you will with no music.

Keep them guessing, always LEAVE them wanting MORE of you.

Does she want you to stay LONGER as you are walking out the door? If not, you were there too long. Get in there, get her to want you to stay, and then SPLIT instead.

You want her to be wondering about you, thinking about you, and not completely certain who it is that just left, but curious to find out.

My impression is that you are giving her too much.

You want the exchanges to accomplish the following :

1. Make her feel BETTER about being around you.
2. Make her TRUST that she can OPEN up to you.
3. Make her romantically curious about you.
4. Make her feel like she isnt' getting enough of you.

She likley looks forward to that visit. I bet she does.

However, if you just pop in, grunt, and leave, you arne't making her look forward to your next visit.

If you can do those four things in five mins then keep it up to five minutes. The time isn't as important as what you do with it.

If you can get those four in, you are done, leave. But don't muddle around if it isn't gonig well, get out before it gets worse. Try to leave witha good impression and get those four items done.

It sounds like you rae doing things already, I am just laying it out for you more clearly. The five or twenty isnt important. Its what you offer and what you HOLD BACK that makes the visit important.

Overall though well done, you chose some very good words to handle things. You are getting there, but ya, six weeks is nothing. In Michele Davis' example in her book it took about EIGHT MONTHS for the man in her examle to end his affair..EIGHT MONTHS from when his wife started to divorcebust.

You have been giong for 6 weeks compared to her (4.25 x 8 = 34?) 34 weeks.

And michele's book was only a sample.

If you can get her to stay in her home and visit her there, that's best yes.

Its a damn shame your support group isnt' willing to go an extra mile.