So I have been doing my job now for 10 yrs. I’ve had a few bumps and bruises along the way. Been in some basement fires so hot the plastic on my helmet started to melt and it felt like my face was on fire through the mask. But I have never had to go to the hospital for an injury.
I’d like to say I hurt myself in some heroic way, but I didn’t. Nope. We had a call to a MVA, (motor vehicle accident) with a very large patient. We patched him up sitting in his car and then put him on a backboard to move him to a gurney. The medics on scene, being worthless, both let go of their sides of the backboard, which left me holding an end by myself. Not uncommon, but just not expected at the time. Right away I could feel my back strain. We got him placed on the cot and down to the hospital (in our bls rig). I could feel my back tightening and sharp pains if I moved quickly or breathed deep or stepped funny.
I will pick this up a bit- By the time we got back to the fire station, I couldn’t get out of the ambulance without help. So I got to be the patient and my crew back boarded me and took me to the hospital. Not fun!
Luckily, I only strained my back. They put me on some pain meds and I was flying HIGH HIGH. I even got to spend the night on someone else’s tab. 3 cheeseburgers please and an extra side of vicodin.
So now we come to the heart of this story. I got to watch a movie while I was there. Being the hopeless romantic I am and having sustained a couple relationship losses, I was taken by a part in this movie where Robin Williams explains what it is like to loose the person you love. Maybe I just liked the way he delivered it or maybe it was the pain meds…or the cheeseburgers:
[i]So if I asked you about art you could give me the skinny on every art book ever written... Michelangelo? You know a lot about him I bet. Life's work, criticisms, political aspirations. But you couldn't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling.
And if I asked you about women I'm sure you could give me a syllabus of your personal favorites, and maybe you've been laid a few times too. But you couldn't tell me how it feels to wake up next to a woman and be truly happy.
If I asked you about war you could refer me to a bevy of fictional and non-fictional material, but you've never been in one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap and watched him draw his last breath, looking to you for help.
And if I asked you about love I'd get a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been truly vulnerable. Known that someone could kill you with a look. That someone could rescue you from grief. That God had put an angel on Earth just for you. To have the love be there for her forever. Through anything, through cancer. You wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand and not leaving because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term "visiting hours" didn't apply to you. And you wouldn't know about real loss, because that only occurs when you lose something you love more than yourself, and you've never dared to love anything that much.[/i]
I’ve had that kind of love. It is the greatest feeling in the world to know you can feel that way about someone. Probably the most painful too.
Well I have a party to rest up for. Won't take to many budweisers to get me going.
