(((Jeff))) my H is unwilling to give up his OW as well, so I also have no choice.
It sounds to me like your W is looking for something she is never going to find, happiness through outside things. I have to read your whole sitch and I'm sorry I haven't, but I have lurked here and there and until she is able to be happy with herself she will continue to chase the "dream/fantasy."
You sound like a great dad and a hell of a guy if you are giving her $$ to pay for Ls.
It sounds like you have and are doing a lot of GAL and creating a lot of memories and happiness with your kids, so good for you. I have started taking my kids to church too and it is really a good thing for them I think. I know it has helped my DS12, and helping my kids find faith will probably make this whole terrible ordeal worthwhile. I'm ashamed to admit that until this happened I hadn't taken my kids to church or anything. I think its been a good thing for us...sorry about the rambling. Apparently the wine is kicking in so I'll go. LOL.
Just wanted to add my somewhat muddled $.02.
Corey
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
hey Jeff, keeping you in my prayers and I hope the legal process go as well as expected in these sitches. The debt sounds like her trying to buy happiness, she's lost to herself and others, such a shame (she's the female version of stbx) I pray that your life after her is 100x better, I know it will, what you are going through right now is the worst part, peace is around the corner Jeff, hang in there.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Hey Sugar and Spice, thanks for checking in on me.
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S&S: It sounds to me like your W is looking for something she is never going to find, happiness through outside things. I have to read your whole sitch and I'm sorry I haven't, but I have lurked here and there and until she is able to be happy with herself she will continue to chase the "dream/fantasy."
Don't be sorry I've done the same to your sitch, lurked about, there are so many people here, I know It's hard to add more people to your time, I try to keep up with approx 4 or 5 post, I really don't have the time and I'm not the best at DBing. I don't think W will ever be happy, she is fighting everything, her age, her weight, her wrinkles, her hair (turning gray) she is fight herself about what she wants to do in life.
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S&S I admit that until this happened I hadn't taken my kids to church or anything.
I was the same way when they were younger, as the kids started school (we send them to a private Catholic School) we started to get more involved, or at least I did, W was usually sleeping when we went to church. She made a small effort once to start going but that didn't last long. Our Catholic Parish is a community, my kids play softball, soccer, etc with the same kids every year, most go to school together, we see each other at church, at the parish picnic, at girl or boy scouts the parents each know each other and each others kids, it a nice way to raise a family.
Sugar and Spice, I always got a laugh out of your comment: OW pregnant, with what we're not sure. also hope the wine was good last night, I enjoy a glass of red every now and then
Hey cat how the heck are you, I'm constantly thinking about what you posted about my life getting better, when all this crap went on, finding out about OM, W moving out, house falling apart, I was at rock bottom - only way to go is up from here.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
(((Jeff))) I have renamed OW Dos Trolls...she is lurking under a bridge for 2 now. LOL.
The pregnant but with what we're not sure went along with my comments to H when they tried to find out the sex of the baby. Its legs were crossed so I said it must not be a girl and that at least one of them knew how to. Childish? Yes. Felt good? HELL YES!!!!
Cat is too right, the only way to go is up and you sound like you are doing a good job of that, so keep it up!
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
bye bye good bye crazy lady, I will be way better off without her. I would have tried but W unwilling so I have no choice, none of this has been my decision, I'm just going with the flow.
I loved her like crazy but she doesn't want me, so what choice do I have, life does move on and so will I.
Jeff, sounds like you have a good attitude I think. I hate to say it but I think a lot of us here would be better off without our WAS; and it's the WAS that is really losing out but they just haven't figured it out yet. Jeff, I predict your W will be wanting to get back with you when reality hits her, probably after you are already involved with someone else though! Karen
hey karen, hope everything is going ok for you, I'll check your post.
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karen: I predict your W will be wanting to get back with you when reality hits her, probably after you are already involved with someone else though!
what a waste, I thought about this, We have all gone through so much, so much pain, I suspect a lot of our WAS will re-think what they have done and attempt something at a later date. But us troopers are moving forward, on with our lives.
We are getting past the pain and hurt, slowly but we are all trying to move forward, Karen, Kat, Sara, lwb, and everyone here. I suspect one day several of our WAS will wake up, the pain and the hurting will now be with them and we will be the ones running free and happy, upbeat and enjoying our lives.
I truley don't wish any pain on anyone, we all know how much it has hurt us. I know we will all find happiness again, I just have a feeling some of our WAS will wake up someday and begin hurting
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
I haven't posted to my sitch lately, reading everyones post is hard. H4H struggles, Kelly the way she feels same with Karen and kat, Sara, can see the pain in everyones post, I'm sorry I wish I could help, I wish I could make everyone's pain go away. whatdidido is the only one moving forward in a positive way with her S and you can see her happiness. I'm glad for her.
Me I'm stuck in limbo, somewhere between pure anger and hope for a better future. Easier for me to get past anger now, just remember all the crap I put up with, will be way better off without W.
Wierd around here, W is doing little things around here for me, cutting grass, doing laundry, making me dinner, cleaning house. Not everyday, last week she cut the grass, this week she cleaned bathroom, two weeks ago she made me dinner. I guess its hard for her to detach. Detach from the house not me this was her house, she picked it out (I bought it for her) I remodeled each room, but she picked out all the colors and assessories and did all the decorating.
End of summer approaching fast, thinking of holiday season, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas. Yes I'm a planner and organizer. We have halloween and christmas here, both sides of the family, my mom and family and W's mom and dad, and friends. - nothing going to change, everyone will still be invited, want to keep things same for kids. W will be invited also but I will not accept any help from her. She will be a invited guest in my home. I'll be good and a gracious host, but you all know how I feel about my W, I'll keep those emotions in check.
I have already thought about buying a christmas present for W, I actually already know what I'm getting her Yes I'm a planner and organizer. I believe anyone and everyone who shows up at my house should have something to open up. We always have several gender neutral gifts for people who show up unexpectedly. Our home has always been a open house on Christmas-eve for anyone with no other place to go. I'm going to keep that tradition of a open house for anyone on Christmas-Eve and I'll make sure W has something to open up from each of her children.
Am I sick in the head or what I've actually been thinking of christmas already
We are getting past the pain and hurt, slowly but we are all trying to move forward. I know you are all hurting out there but you all need to keep moving forward.
I'll try to check in on all of you, you all have done so much for me and you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
M45 W41 M10 3/4 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
also hope the wine was good last night, I enjoy a glass of red every now and then
I'm constantly thinking about what you posted about my life getting better, when all this crap went on, finding out about OM, W moving out, house falling apart, I was at rock bottom - only way to go is up from here.
I've actually been thinking of christmas already 