Really upside down #2

[Neilh23]

I'm a better man. Little by little. My confidence with everything else is in check. It's just this sitch that I struggle with. Things are not bogged by her actions. They are bogged by the crappy info I have from snooping. Then amplified by her actions/inactions.

I want to stop, but it feels like an addict.

that's the funny thing...me too. i'm confident in every other area of my life, except this one. NOw granted, i haven't snooped on her in quite some time and have limited contact with her to brief conversations whenever we exchange the kids or call at nite. However, she still does ask how things are......

It does feel like we're addicts. LIke we NEED them...physically, emotionally, etc. However, that's why detaching is so good. People tell me that sometimes it just clicks into place...i'm not sure if it did for me, but it sorta feels like it. Of course, i know when i struggle with it...when i have my kids, and i wonder what she's up to.

Here's my advice about the snooping stuff....sometimes, ignorance is bliss. and regardless if your W is with someone else, what says she can't change her mind? YOu can help her do that by becoming the best person YOU believe you can be. If she doesn't bite, she doesn't. That'll be her loss.....do this for you.

stay strong...