but as for everything mark said, her parents and friends aren't going to butt in. even if they would, and i tried to tell her parents to step in, they might think i am trying to tell them what to do. besides if i talked to the couple she's living with, they obviously don't want her to stop hanging out with them, they won't tell her to make things work with me, or that the OM is not allowed in their new home.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
ok flat out question that needs a flat out answer. we get along great when i drop our son off. we talk for about 15-20 like we're best friends before we leave each other, always about stupid stuff. should i avoid this talk and just drop our son off, tell her goodnight and leave ?
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
one other question.......if she can't afford the house and tells me I can have it, but I don't want it either, should I just say "we should sell it before you move out" ? or "we should sell it" ? or "we should wait and see for a bit" ? neither of us would want to be paying on a house that no one is living in, but I feel if i tell her to sell it, she'll see that as me giving up on us and it'll push her away faster than she is already.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
i'm not going to mention the R yet. I appreciate the ideas Mark, about suggesting to her that we talk to our pastor. I'm going to save that for when the time is right. yes i get desperate, yes I get needy, but I haven't showed it to her in a LONG time. it's been 5 or 6 weeks; too early.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
You seem to be earnestly looking for advice, but whenever it's offered, you always come back with why it won't work, or why it can't be done. Mark's (and my) advice may or may not work, but why don't you try some things, and see what works and what doesn't?
As for your convos with her when she drops your son off: waywards desperately want to NORMALIZE their illicit relationships. They want family members to accept their OM/OW, they want everyone to treat them the same, etc. Don't play the game. Be civil, be polite, but cut the convos down to about 5 minutes.
I have already screwed up this R by my words and actions. When I say something won't work it's usually because I have already tried it. Example of something that hasn't worked: talking to her best friends to either say something to her or put pressure on her. They run back and tell her and she gets mad and flips out
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
