Day 1 of the Last Resort Method....Again!

[7 Year Itch]

Gosh, I swear this sounds like so many past conversations I've had with my H. Try try try, to not get roped in to the "words". IT took them a LONG time to get to this point. To finally verbalize it. And when we say anything to conflict with that, we automatically put them on the defensive. Pushing them further into that decision.

My C told me this week we cannot operate out of fear. My H has been threatening to file for D since the bomb almost 4 months ago, and I've heard several time in the last month that it would be "tomorrow". So I sit and hang everyday waiting for the next bomb to drop. Well, it's no way to live. And to sit in fear of something I cannot control just doesn't make sense.

GAL like crazy. This is where it comes in handy. He IS obviously noticing the 180's. I had the SAME reactions from H during intimate relations. After being turned down by us for SO long, it's going to take awhile for them to really believe that it's a real change and not temporary.

Have nice interactions, and when he says those things that rip at your heart and make you want to reach out and grab and hold on to him and go down "cheeseless tunnels" come and post here instead.

Just listen when he talks. Validate his feelings. Don't try to talk him out of them, it'll go against you. I know ,I've done it and it's always made stuff worse.

I was NOT a quick DB learning ,and ultimately I STILL am not even close to claiming success yet, but I can say that I've seen the MOST success I've had in 4 months in the last 2 weeks that I have been RELIGIOUSLY DBing. No slidebacks. It's been like night and day. So no matter what ends up happening, I do believe these methods work.

Hang in there. Remember the DB motto, believe none of what they say and only half of what they do. I repeat that to myself EACH time my H comes out with comments like this.

Chris