Kelly Jo The Wifey new thread.

[The Wifey]

Guys I need to vent. My husband was at home when I got there to check on the dog. He was obviously hurrying to try and get out of there with the motorcycle before I got there. I was able to give him a kiss and tell him I loved him before he left.

I don't care if that is DB right now. Swing your 2x4's if you want.

I went on to tell him to have a good ride and asked him to call when he gets home just so I will know he is safe. HE said I love you back to me, but was standing a bit back from me.

I'm at my mom's and I am inches from tears, yet managing to hold them back. I am here to give him space. God, I want him so bad.

I spoke to a friend that is on vacation in California a bit tonight. I told her how I was feeling and she gave me the whole take care of yourself thing. I felt a little blindsided. I have to be very selective who I talk to - only you guys understand about wanting to save my marriage.

I also emailed him to let him know that Randy Pausch passed away. He was very moved by his last lecture video and his book. So moved that a part of me thinks it was part of what brought him to the bomb.

Nothing mushy in the email. I just let him know about Randy and that I'd said a prayer for his family and felt sad about it.

Suzanne, Lost P needs all of us more than anyone can imagine. I see his pain. I feel his pain. Where other get angry and take offense to what he says, I can see that it is a big bluster to try and hide the pain.

And I can understand it because I am in so much pain right at this moment. I want my husband. Need to be good, though. Only DB will work.

Now please understand, everyone, that my DB may be a little different from yours. Let me know if I cross any of those invisible lines. But, my DB is personal to me.

My friend tried to tell me not to attend the grad party tomorrow with my h and in-laws. I'm going. I will act as if while I'm there, but I am NOT passing up the opportunity to be with him. There is nothing that could keep me from using a perfectly normal thing to be with him. We were invited and already responded.

It hurts so bad tonight. I want to cry a gallon of tears. The night is young, I just may.