1) be consistant in my telling H when he is disrespectful and mean. (already happening) 2)be consistant in showing my appreciation of any effort made 3)start to expect more of him as a H without taking it personally if it doesn't happen. 4)Tell H when i need his help with something. Stop accepting his excuses when he doesn't help. 5)until i start seeing some effort, gradually seperate myself from H, without making him feel unwelcome.
Consequences for not helping/making any changes/treating me better: 1)stop doing things that are solely for his benefit. a. we will eat when i'm done cooking rather than waiting on dinner til he's ready b. i will stop doing his laundry, just mine and the girls c. i will stop getting his stuff ready for him before he leaves to go somewhere. d. stop making phone calls for him when he just doesn't feel like it, business or otherwise 2)no sex
When he questions why i'm not doing everything for him, i'll tell him that when he's ready to step up and do what he's told me he wants to do, then i'll keep doing things for him.
If, on the other hand, he starts making changes and really seems to be trying, then i'll have more time (if he's helping) and i'll be able to do some nice things that are especially just for him.
if, after about a month or so of this there is still no change in H, i will have to come up with something more drastic, but for now, this is the best i can come up with... i'm going to do my very best to stick with this. i may mess up from time to time, but hopefully this gets some sort of reaction from him.
if anyone has anything else good for my list, i'd love to hear it!
ann
Last edited by ann25; 07/25/0810:28 PM.
If i can't fall in love... I'd like to fall in chocolate! ~ Author Unknown
