Feeling Hopeless...

[ann25]

Hi Ann, OK I'm going to change. I'll be tough and to the point, here goes ...

fb2,

I had just written a long email to Ann, that was already "tough and to the point".
She didnt need more of the same. That just made her feel set-upon, and overwhelmed.
Plus, it diluted the points I was trying to make to Ann, to where I think she has now missed them.

How about easing up for a while?
You suggested that Ann talk to forrestgump, for more 2x4-age.
But I dont think that's what she needs.
if once doesnt get someone's attention, then more, is just going to be bruising, not helpful.

i agree and that is basically what happened. Luckily, i get over things quickly... no harm done.

Since i am trying and really do want to see positive changes and don't want to be a martyr... can you help...

I feel like i don't know how to expect him to be a grown up and expect him to be a man if i'm treating him like a child. If i'm telling him what he can and can't do, how is that making him grow up, isn't that just more of the same?

Also, there have been a couple times when i've brought up the fact that he said he'd make an effort to change. He continues with the excuses that i don't want to be accepting. So, how long do i accept his, "i will" and other excuses before I start just doing my own thing. I guess i already kinda am... we haven't had dinner together in a week. The girls and i go into their room and read books and color and stuff, but we don't see him. I go to bed when i'm tired and i don't wait for him... Should i be giving him more time to try or do i just keep going and see if he even notices.

i'm going to reread your other post and respond, just to be sure i don't miss your point, cause i probably did!

Thanks!! ann