Feeling Hopeless...

[ann25]

Hi Sandi,

Thanks for the post. I think that i felt a lot of the same things you felt too. My H went from acting like he loved and wanted me to wanting a D and just using me for sex when it was convenient to him. OM made me feel better about myself. He told me everything i wanted to hear. when i think back, it kinda reminds me of those telephone psychics, where you tell them just enough for them to figure out what you need to hear and believe them... you are right, i don't need anyone to make me feel worse about it than i've already made myself feel.

there are lots of OM's out there. Funny how that doesn't bother some men. I know for me, unless i end up divorced, there will never be another man. I know why i went there and i will make sure it doesn't happen again. I don'think H believes that, but i know it, so it's ok.

I do need a plan. Maybe that's why i'm having such a hard time. I feel like i keep getting mixed advice and maybe it's just that i'm not understanding. What kind of consequences should he have? What kind of consequences do you give a grown man when he doesn't want to act like a dad or wake up from a nap?

If he doesn't know that these things upset me then he is more thick headed than i ever thought. i tell him when he says something disrespectful or mean. he may be depressed, i've thought that, but he won't go to the Dr. or see anyone, so he'll just deal with it in his own way i guess. I've made him Dr. appts, but he says he forgets or gets to busy.

He hasn't forgiven me. it's been almost 11 months since he found out and i ended it. He can't let go of it. I'm sure it takes a lot of time and I don't expect him to have forgiven me yet, but that doesn't mean he can act however he wants. OM has way more of a hold on H than he ever did on me. H now dislikes anything that has to do with the military. Didn't even watch one of his favorite shows recently because it was a support the troops episode. He also makes a lot of derogitory comments about hispanic people. Nothing to them and he doesn't actually treat them any differently, but OM was hispanic, so he makes comments a lot. i told him he needs to stop that in front of his Ds cause they'll pick up on it. He was mad, but has been better about it.

thanks ann