I just got my final court date and in two weeks will be divorced.
I want to change my name back to my maiden name. I don't feel right walking around with XH's name. But I have gotten a slew of unsolicited comments when people have asked and I told them it will be restored to the maiden name ASAP.
Seems people feel I should keep the name because of my daughter.
What do you all think? Any experiences with this? did you keep it or change it back or hyphenate? Anyone regret their decision?
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Changed my name back shortly after my D was final.
Its really a personal choice.
My S was 18 at the time, I did ask him how he felt, he was really the only person whos opinion I cared about, Others had all sorts of input!
He said he didnt mind and understood. So I went ahead, I just felt I wanted to have MY name, the name I shared w/ those who loved me, personally I didnt feel ex deserved for me to be shaing it, to me, when you take your H name its a sign of respect, after all in this day us women do not have to. I had no respect for him.
So back it was, now if my S was younger I may not of, but I have friends who have. Thats where it may be a bit more difficult for you. Either way- the choice should be yours.
Good Luck to you
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
So I went ahead, I just felt I wanted to have MY name, the name I shared w/ those who loved me, personally I didnt feel ex deserved for me to be shaing it, to me, when you take your H name its a sign of respect, after all in this day us women do not have to. I had no respect for him.
KarenMarieS,
I agree with you, this is a sign of respect....... If there was one thing I change in the terms of my D, I would have forced her to go back to her maiden name and no longer use my last name in any arena........ The type of women she is embarrasses me.... and shames my family name....
waw, I would go with whatever your heart is telling you... It is a tough choice for moms in your sitch..... My buddy's mom used "both" last names... The last name of his father and last name of his step father (actually, he is a BF; they were never formally married).... I am not sure which was her legal name.... I believe it was still the name of his father....
I wish you all the best.
Take Care,
NMD
Last edited by No_More_Dodo; 07/25/0806:46 PM.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
For sure its very personal , believe me I went back and forth a dozen times , before deciding. I am glad I did though, no regrets.
You know it was funny, my ex wouldnt address me by my new old name lol He would send things to me addressed Karen A, my married name, or even write a check for me and I told him, Ex I cant cash this, he finally said, well why did you change it? He didnt get it. He does now though.
again, good luck waw, whatever you decide will be the right choice for you.
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
waw, I agree that this is a personal choice and one that YOU need to be comfortable and satisfied with. I knew I was going to be getting married within the year after my d was final so I kept my married name (only to lessen the hassle of going through the name-change processes twice, not to mention the confusion). However, as soon as I was married, I couldn't change my name fast enough.
I have both last names no hyphen, just a space please. Yes makes it a pain in the butt however this is who I have been for the past 19 years. I am leaning towards keeping it. I am proud to share a name with my children, screw the stbx...oh wait someone already did!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I still have the X's last name and have been D'd almost a year. I now do not want to be asscociated with the name especially since OW now has it. But like everyone has said it's your choce and what you will feel comfortable with.
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
My ex kept my last name. Don't really know why. Maybe for work. Less hasle to change it all. Then again, she says she still loves me and is proud of me...just didn't want to be married to me I guess.
I kept my x's name because of the kids. When I talked to S13 about it, he asked what I thought of him changing his name to my maiden name!! I wasn't going to touch that one... But I have been that name for the last 16 years; they are all of the family I have left (my parents have died).
