Stand firm. Be solid. The lies will reveal themselves as lies. Don't play into them. Ignore them. Don't plead with the family member and say they are lies.
She is going to continue to spiral out of control. People will notice, and you will come out looking like the sane one.
You have to be the stable one. Push all those thoughts out of your head about her having you as a piece of meat or whatever.
Pretend she went to Iraq or something and you just can't see her now. Pretend her family went with her.
You focus on you being the strongest man you can be.
Eat.
It is going to be hard. Don't let anything she says get to you. Become the iceman. Don't show the emotions.
Detach from her and the family.
The boy your buddy he will come around. He has a brain of his own. If he is your buddy, he'll still be your buddy. Don't convince him of something he already knows.
You can deny the lies, but do not justify. Just simply say it isn't true.
You don't know that for sure. Sometimes you think to ahead in the future mycroft. You have to think each moment. The moment now. What can you improve. Are you filled with prayer? Are you filled with substance of food?
Exercise, cardio. Eat. Pray. Rest. And work. This is your only focus.
Not about what she did. Not about what she is doing. Who she is lying too. Who she is running around with. Where she is at. What her vendetta is.
I have not been in corporate prayer for several days, but I pray every day. A lot of it is begging God.
Tried to eat these past couple of days. Ended up with severe gastro-intestinal trouble, the sor that I shouldn't describe. But it was rather violent...and uncontrollable.
Took 2 of the lorzapam last night. Wasn't as groggy as predicted, but got 5 hours of sleep. If I don't start getting more time asleep, I may have to ask for something stronger.
Phil, if by "You don't know that for sure. Sometimes you think to ahead in the future mycroft," you mean my talk about her convenient cover for 2 men, it isn't projection. It happened during her first marriage. I was the OM. Now that I've had a chance to review all the signs I ignored, I can see she was doing the same thing during the first 4 years of my supposed "marriage."
I'm having trouble keeping my thoughts on track or looking for solutions, and trying not to live in the despair of what is going on. After Wednesday night, I called friends about 25 miles away, and they insisted I come to stay over for 2 days. I think it was for observation.
Don't look for solutions right now, it will make your head race. There may not be a solution at the moment. Go and stay with your friends but try not to be overbearing about your problems. Tell them you just need some support and you don't need answers right now.
Talk about it leave it at that. Then do something with them and enjoy your time together.
All you need right now is baby step and that baby step is finding supporting people and be healthy. After you accomplish that, then you can think next baby step!
Go to your friends house and talk and enjoy time. It won't solve your sitch but it'll help your emotion to calm a little bit and that's big baby step. Don't afraid to ask help or support from outside. You need as much as support! Don't give up and try to find all over the place! Maybe you might not notice my enlish but I'm not native and English is my second language. I still have hard time to understand people over the phone but I had to call and call to find support group. Keep trying! You Will find baby hope somewhere!
My thanks to all those who have done their best to help.
Since I have given up hope of ever being reunited with my wife, based on her continuous hidden infidelity going back to the day we were married, I am at the point of think that the DR book is no longer useful to me and setting it aside. I have no desire to remarry; the purpose of me waiting until I was 38 was done because I wanted it to be permanent. Here I am at 56 and I don't want any more. I just want peace in my life and I want to rely solely on God, letting Him be the sole focus of my life. And perhaps he will shorten my days.
I'm finding out that I'm not alone, even over here. My friends In Charlotte told me that another of their firends has just had this start for him, and that he, too, is in pieces.
It's happening all over, and increasing more and more. What's happening to all of us? What are we doing?
