Thanks for the book recommendations, Sandi. I'm a big reader so I will have no trouble checking them out. I'm sure you are right that after this "dose in the arm" there will come times that discouragement could lead to temptation. I feel different this time. I am choosing to love my H. Like h4h, he started to notice others noticing him, I did the same during the last bad years with H. All of the sudden, I got hit on everywhere. But, now....it's different....Just this morning, as crazy as it sounds, I got "hit on" at the gas station. I could have lingered, would have been asked out. I walked out, happy about the compliment given to me, but thinking how I couldn't wait to go home and tell my H. Just want to be with my H and my family. There's a change, and I feel it.
Thanks Sugar and Spice. It feels so good to get encouragement from you and others, too. I feel good. This is the hardest and smartest thing I have ever done in my life.
I walked out, happy about the compliment given to me, but thinking how I couldn't wait to go home and tell my H.
WOW! To think of having problems of being hit on everywhere you go! (lol) Just kidding. You must be very pretty to have this problem!
When you tell your H what happened, how will he respond to that? Some H's get jealous and don't like it and end up taking it out on their W's. Or, they sull up. Don't you just hate that?
If my H ever had a jealous bone in his body, I never knew it. It drove me crazy. I wanted him to be a little bit jealous of me! I have to admit that I even told him something that happened and a boss who was leaving the place where I worked gave me a quick kiss when he left (thinking he would be really jealous). Now understand that this sort of thing had never happened to me before and I think the boss had probably wanted to do that and just knew it was "now or never" since we would never see each other again. BTW, I was about 24 when this happened....lol. Anyway, boy, did it ever backfire on me. My H was mad at me! He wasn't jealous, he was mad at me! Know what he said to me? He said, "What if somebody had seen that, what would they have thought?" That was all he was concerned about....somebody else seeing it. So, that ended me ever trying to make my H jealous.
So, be careful, honey. We never know how men will receive the news that somebody was trying to hit on us. They may blame us instead of thinking what a sexy wife they have and don't blame any man in his right mind for wanting to go out with her. He should be proud of you, but how do we know which way a man's mind will go?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
My husband seems to like it when I tell him that another man seemed to want me. I always say something like, "the roofer sure seemed to think I looked sexy." Or something like that. I think he's pretty confident that the roofer and I didn't do anything we shouldn't.
Hi Sara, that is good that your H feels that way. That means he has a lot of trust in you and that he is a confident man. I think my H always worried about what the roofer would think about "me".......you know, like what would somebody think if they passed by and saw the boss give you a peck on the cheek to say good-bye? If you read my other post....that will make sense to you about the boss.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, would you have a moment to give me your thoughts on my W's actions? 2008 = Crazy Year is the name of the thread (up to #4 now). Would appreciate it. PDT and others are helping me out immensely.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
OMG I'm not getting hit on everywhere you go...I meant that when I was in that bad place I started noticing things...You know what I mean!!!!!!!!??
Anyway, H seemed proud and said, "You SHOULD get hit on, you look good." So, guess it went well.
Tonight we are going out together. We haven't done that in years. Just going out with friends and drinking and socializing. I told him I just want to have fun with him. He expressed that he is nervous because I will have expectations of him. He knows me well.....he's not great in social situations and says things that embarass me. I am going to try to focus on the positives of the night and just have fun. Tomorrow, we have our first post session for Retrouvaille.
WDID - your posts about your feelings make me weep. Selfishly enough I think it's because I so believe my spouse could be having the same experiences but she just won't work in that direction. But I am thrilled for your husband and for you.
Did you go on meds? I rather hit you hard a few weeks ago and wondered if you had followed up on that. They are a huge help in the battle.
Have fun tonight. Touch your husband, not "sexually" but humanly. God what I wouldn't give...
All my best, Stubborn
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
Never got the meds. I ran out of time before they would have done anything before Retrouvaille so I thought I would just wait until after. I am feeling so much better, but I will definitely look into them if I start to get to that state again or any sign of it. I don't mind the "hitting me hard" before. Sometimes I need that.
Looks like it'll be a nice night out. We will be outside at a festival for some of the night so that will be fun. I like that...touch him humanly. I will. For sure!
We just did our dialoging through email and then on the phone so we would make sure to do it before we have to leave tonight.
Looks like it'll be a nice night out. We will be outside at a festival for some of the night so that will be fun. I like that...touch him humanly. I will. For sure!
That sounds really great, wdid.
Have a blast.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
