I did thanks, and my kids are very stable because of it. I chose to put my children before anything else and make them the priority, not my wife's or my issues.
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NO! you just don't get it do you. The kids decide where they want to be.
NO, you just don't get it. You and your wife are adults and can make grown up decisions. That's your job. Your kids are innocent bistanders to the behaviors of you and your wife. YOU are the one who is not getting it. You and your wife are very selfish. You don't want to enable her, it's not about that phil it is about YOUR CHILDREN. For Pete's sake take the blinders off and see what is really going on in your world today. See what is really going on in their world because the longer it takes you to prioritize those kids, the more screwed up they will be. And guess what Phil, it will be YOUR fault, not her's and not theirs. You are the one who is supposed to be thinking clearly for them.
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Get it through your head Ian. This isn't DBing.
Not the way your doing it it isn't. Maybe you should actually try and DB and see if it works instead of being so damn sure that you know what is best. Maybe you should listen to others and actually do what it says to do. See Phil, your progress has been limited to your tone and attitude because you cannot progress with her without taking some action.
You know what, keep sitting still. Keep doing the same old same old. It will not help you, you will not move forward, and your kids will suffer. That is again your choice.
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I know your tired why don't I keep the kids tonight?
THIS, isn't for her. You said you always want your kids with you. She gave you an opening and you chose not to take it. Go ahead, tell me again the kids didnt want to. They don't want to stand in your square either but you make them do that. You have a choice Phil, empower her, or empower yourself.
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I can't set boundries because she violates them. Gets pissed and that pushes her away more. She argues with me about the schedule over an hour problem and the very next day the arguement was invalid. Come on dude... There is no logic to this.
Boundaries without consequences for your actions are not boundaries. They are merely idle threats. Your job when you set boundaries is to enforce them. She gets pissed, to bad, she will get over it. Until you stand firm and do not let her getting upset affect you, boundaries are useless. You have to grow some balls and make her stick to the guidelines that you set or pay the price for not following them.
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Things are going to start changing, because she is going to break down. She has too. She needs to break down. Not me. I was broken down for almost 8 months.
You don't know this, you are assuming. Even if she does breakdown, it doesn't mean anything because once she gets over it, nothing has changed. Again, you focus on what she needs, what she will do, what you see happening to her. Forget all that stuff and work on yourself Phil. Work on your communication, work on your follow through when you set boundaries, and work on what you need to do for your children. That should keep you busy.
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Ian, Quote: Quit taking care of her Phil
Didn't others say take care of Phil and kids. Make up your minds!
Dude, are you serious here? Did you actually read what I wrote or are you to confident in your own beliefs to even pay attention. Your response is illogical and makes no sense, try again.
