In a Holding Pattern Waiting for Clearance

[steady]

Distressed, let me ask you this:

Why are you wanting to sabotage yourself?

It's the same question the MC asked me when I told her I was drinking on the anti-depressents and it was when we were drinking that my wife and I had the biggest blowouts. I have quit drinking (again - quit for 17 years before). The anti-depressents won't do it's job if a person is drinking. So I was doing behavior which was opposite of what I was trying to achieve in my M.

You have been doing well and now you are throwing a wrench into it yourself. Why? If you chase it in you will find your answer.

Forget the clothing. MFT is right on target. You have no idea what it was. But like me, you have to project negatively and make it out to be the worst possible scenario. Put a rubber band on your wrist and snap it every time you find yourself projecting negatively - then change it either a positive projection or a neutral one. (ie: maybe it's a gift for me, or better yet, I have no idea what it was and refuse to drive myself crazy by thinking it's something that's going to be a negative)

I'm a snooper, but realized it's just putting my POWER into someone else's hands. Not healthy. When I think the other shoe is going to drop I can easily find evidence of it from neutral things. I'm looking through lenses that are tainted with the fear of the other shoe dropping so everything looks like what I'm afraid of. Hope that makes sense.

Ken