That's exactly how the last 4 weeks had been. Lots of holding, hugging, ml, but also distancing and pulling away at times. H also said, I won't be hurt again. I told him nobody could promise he would never be hurt.
Be good all day for you. I intend to be.
Last year we went through this. That was the second bomb in 19 years. She said that there was no chance of her working on the marriage and she "would hate herself" if she gave in this time. Well she gave in and I think she spent the last year hating herself, because I just went right back to old me.
Fast forward to this year and the most recent bomb, and the same words that your H said...."I will not be hurt again". I heard that as recently as this past week. She does not trust me that the changes are real and that I will not hurt her.
She spent the last year building the courage to tell me it was over, and if she changes her mind now what does that mean to her? I understand how she feels. She wants to be strong and stick to her decision. If I truly have unconditional love for her, what right do I have to try to change her mind.
DB and GAL is the only option. They have to come around on their own.
