OK, I really don't have much insight on the mind of the WAS, but these are my thoughts.
First of all, W does take responsibility for her actions. She does not try to use OM as an excuse or to justify her actions. The point I was trying to make was that now that the fog has lifted, she sees him as he really is.
The "light switch" analogy is from my perspective, not from hers. It was sudden to me, but she talks about a lot of conflict over a very long period of time. Those episodes she had when she showed some of that confusion to me were when it briefly became visible.
But I have no idea how to tell a WAS is feeling that way, versus just intermittent guilt in a WAS who is still certain they want to D. But I guess that's why you continue to DB, keep DBing, and DB some more, and be patient until you really really run out of gas, because you can't really ever tell for sure what's going on inside them, or when things might change.
It doesn't mean you don't reach a point when you say enough is enough, because you don't want to be in limbo forever in a hopeless situation. But if you still have something in you that wants to keep trying, then keep trying. I got lucky, because I gave up -- and she woke up when I was not quite too far down that road not to consider returning. But almost.
Gotta get back to work...
I understand that. I was hoping you would say you've found some chemical imbalance, some flawed genetic link..something logical.. what I hear is...I got lucky..
I asked a buddy in my office who has been married 25 years + what the secret to a successful marriage was..his response..I got lucky.
