The woman I loved and married is gone. THat's one thing I remind myself of whenever I miss her. There's someone out there who looks like her and has her same name, but the good person she was is gone - dead. All that's left is a shallow, self-centered, "I'm right" bitch. Qualities she inherited from my former friend.
MinnesotaMan,
This is very true...... When I thought about my exW...... I had a tendency to remember who she was........
The shy young Christian woman who was embarrassed by her minimum wage job... I admired her work ethic.... To me, I was proud of who she was as a person... I could care less how much money she made... She told me over and over again how her BIL cheated on her sister and how wrong that was.... Her belief that marriage is sacred..... How she viewed people for who they were not how much money they have or make....
That woman is dead and gone........ Replaced by someone lacking morals, compassion and basic Christian values... Someone I would never want to associate with.... The really sad part is woman she was before would have strongly disliked the woman she became...
I chose not to focus on what was or could have been with my exW.... She chose her path.... She chose who she became...... I am so very blessed to have my new wife in my life.........
I am at the point where I still look back and feel the pain... I guess this tells me how deeply I value M and committment.....
But, I have no desire to be with my exW...... I would not trade my new W for ANY woman....
As for your exW and her "new love"....... A wise person here said..... "They deserve each other. They will spend the rest of lives wondering who will cheat first. A great way to live!" I believe that says it all...
Take Care,
NMD
Last edited by No_More_Dodo; 07/25/0802:27 PM.
"Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. That is what makes a marriage last --more than passion or even sex!" - Simone Signoret
Hey Minnesota man, Howdy neighbor. Greetings from “up nort”, you do speak Minnesotan right? (yaaaaaa dare den sure ya bet cha) I haven’t followed your thread but oof-da it sounds like you went through a rough one. I think you’re doing quite well considering it’s only been 8 months. The things your feeing seem quite normal to me, and to be betrayed by a friend has to be double the hurt. My EX first got involved with a guy who lived 1000 miles away and he wasn’t a friend, I was thankful for the distance because there were nights that I had some pretty ill feelings toward him and if he would have lived close by… Well let’s just say I’m glad he lived 1000 miles away. Having your EX in close proximity is going to be a little tough, mine moved in to the house right across the road from me after the D. It was really hard not to watch her driveway and see everyone who was coming and going when it was right out my front window. I finally just decided to sell that house and I moved 15 miles away. That was a good move on my part.
The best advice I can give you is to keep trying to detach and try to keep your focus inward. I know it’s hard to let go of all those old hopes and dreams. It gets easier once you gain acceptance and start actively working towards a new future. I know it’s easier said than done, it took me a long time and I had plenty of backslides and bad nights. Keep yourself busy, get out and do stuff, anything to keep your mind occupied. Eventually you will find that you think about it less and less and you will find that you are actually having fun and not just acting as if…
Hang in there big guy, remember if you can handle 40 below in the winter you can deal with most anything.
ALL
"Life may not be the party we hoped for... but while we are here we might as well dance!"
