Really upside down #2

[upside_downer]

As I was trying to fall asleep last night, I remembered there was a sitch about 1-2 months prior to my W making the decision to move out. We were arguing about something and I said to her over email "Do you think you should move out?" It was a legit question at the time because I felt that was coming (and knew her cousin had sent her a link to an apt. in email which I wasn't happy about cuz I feel like he feels our R isn't any good, so he does things like that to force his opinion). I didn't mean to say it as a suggestion, I was merely asking. She took it as me saying "you should move out." She was very against that idea. I asked her why and she said if things were going to get fixed, moving out won't solve anything. Then a month later she moved out. Interesting how THAT played out.

you answered your own question. so what do you do?

I didn't, really. I'm still not sure if asking that question is a good idea. I think the answer would help, but would asking hurt more than what you gain from the answer?

And lastly....I'm not sure what to do. I'm still having a hard time deciding whether to let her initiate everything. I did call her two days ago just to say Hi. (She had complained that I can never do that without talking about the same R talk). She seemed annoyed and short on the phone so I ended the conversation quickly. I made sure I said "well, I just wanted to see how you were doing"

well, if that's the case, how would you do a 180? I think you already did....but IMHO....let her initiate things are awhile. Difficult, yes, but necessary. Give her space and time to sort her stuff out. AS bad as we want this, you only make it worse by pursuing her. She thinks you calling is pursing. Don't do it.

Bworl, you used to think I should perhaps do a little pursuing. Do you still think that?