Re: the MC--I took evidence with me and she refused to look at it. I really think the only thing that will happen in that room is what probably needs to happen anyway--that we work out arrangements for D with facilitation and a witness. The MC is clear that she considers that our agenda and anything else will need to be worked out in IC. He's not going to admit to an A until the divorce is final--I think the whole thing is about the consequences to him in divorce court. After that he'll probably flaunt her in my face. He knows I know, he knows D knows, and OW apparently has been calling during D's visits (she can tell by his affect).
Can you say more about why you think it's not MLC? To me it fits the picture absolutely and completely. This is not the man I married and raised a child with; this is not the man who sat in the chair next to me just 3 months ago. Has he always been narcissistic and clueless about my needs? Yes. But not anywhere to this extent.
I was hoping to go thru mediation rather than use an attorney. I know I can get one to drag this out, but nothing will move closer to reconciliation for us or resolution for me during that time. H will only hate me more during the process--it's just inherent in how this works. I went thru a divorce 18 years ago; the circumstances were vastly different, but I know the stress and the adversity and the feelings that come up during that time--I know they're likely to be a thousand times worse when a child is involved. Any money going to an attorney is money that won't be going toward D's needs, whether it's his or mine. If I could delay anything it would be the beginning, not the end of the process. Once it begins, I just want it to be over.
Thank you for the prayer. I'm beginning to think I need an exorcism as well. The enemy is definitely at work in my life. Please keep praying for me if you can.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
