I think my own insecurity or lack of self worth is a childhood thing. It's basically BS and I just want to let it go. I am a good person that doesn't deserve to be left. I deserve a h that takes responsibility for his part and commits to working on our m.
that's an awesome thought. IT's taken me along time to get to that point too. Change one part tho....
Originally Posted By: The Wifey
Maybe with enough space and with my own growth that is what I will end up with.
Take out maybe....and believe you will end up with your H.... he said he loved you....he's confused. give him space. he'll come around....i really believe that. WAH's come home much sooner than WAW's...i read that on here somewhere....
stay strong
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
Thank you, Neil. I actually toyed with the idea of my getting a short-term apartment somewhere. I really have to find me and my happiness right now.
He's hurting and I can't help him. It seems even when I try I am only causing him guilt and thus more pain.
The post to Lost Phil came from my heart. I can only hope he reads it and it touches him some how. I wish I could do the same for my husband, but he is not in a place that he could read it or accept it at all. Maybe he won't ever be, but I do have hope.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
The WAS then can get confused and even mad because they can no longer 'hate' the LBS as much as they would like to because the LBS is getting better, therefore improving the situation and throwing a wrench into the mix.
That is a pretty interesting perspective and something I think I have seen in my wife the last few months.
The times we are out having fun she is completely in the moment. She is close, affectionate and then it's like she wakes up the next morning and says...wait a minute, I am supposed to hate this guy, WTF am I doing.
We can go to bed after having a wonderful evening, ML and she will wake up the next day and barely say 2 words to me.
There are times when she comments on things that I used to do or say. Sometimes in jest, sometimes not, but it is like she is reminding herself, or me, of the way I used to be and telling me "that is you, this incarnation is not".
My H is doing the same thing, sort of. He said last night, that my bad behavior is "not his fault" this time. And he's right. I'm falling into old habits regularly this week, and it s**ks!
What I get sometimes is, "the way you are acting is like a honeymoon. This is not how things are going to be." He fully expects things will go back to how they were if he works on our m.
It is too soon to expect that they won't. I'm here for the long haul.
BTW, I hope everyone starts putting their first names in the signature line so I can call you by name!
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
that's why these changes should be for YOU, regardless of what your S says. really. if you know they are going to be part of you, then that's what matters. it's detaching...and just doing it for you.....sounds selfish a bit, but in reality, its not. you have every right to become the person you envisioned for yourself and deserve to be.
believe you can do this.
i've been doing a bit of thinking....and needed some hope....so i decided to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows again. I think the concept of unconditional love is really explained well in there....plus it gives me a sense of hpe. And i like to read. so it fits a couple of bills!!!
ME:32 WAW:31 D #1: 3.5 D #2: 2 Together: 13 M:6 Bomb Dropped: 2/15/08 Sep legally: 6/18/08
"Tommorrow there'll be sunshine, and all this darkness past..." -Bruce Springsteen Land of Hope and Dreams
What I get sometimes is, "the way you are acting is like a honeymoon. This is not how things are going to be." He fully expects things will go back to how they were if he works on our m.
It is too soon to expect that they won't. I'm here for the long haul.
BTW, I hope everyone starts putting their first names in the signature line so I can call you by name!
I think, even though there was no plan to reconcile and she in no way told me we were working on the R, or M, that what we just went through was some sort of honeymoon phase.
We were having fun, ML and just acting like 2 people who just started a relationship...weird.
Now I am trying to figure out if somehow I was the one that back slid and took us out of that. Could be, but that should not be the focus now.
It is a glorious morning here in the Northeast and I had a good night last night. Wife was tired and we did not talk much. I kept busy and to myself and went to bed early. She slept on the couch.
Today it would be nice if she called or texted just to stay in touch, but I don't find myself waiting for it and hoping for it. I'm good today.
That's exactly how the last 4 weeks had been. Lots of holding, hugging, ml, but also distancing and pulling away at times. H also said, I won't be hurt again. I told him nobody could promise he would never be hurt.
Be good all day for you. I intend to be.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Somewhat of a miracle, my husband responded to my daily email. I just usually send one line of what I'm grateful for. Yesterday I said I was grateful for good friends. H said, "Yes, I am too."
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
