Really upside down #2

[Neilh23]

I've been thinking to myself that I need to be that guy that attracted my wife. Funny, though, I don't remember being that person. I don't know HOW I was, or what I did.

actually, i believe you do. Just be yourself.

I think I already know the answer, but....what's the harm in asking our S at some point for some specific memories or things in general that attracted them to us? I think that may fall under R talk, but not sure since it's just "what do you remember?"

you answered your own question. so what do you do?

And lastly....I'm not sure what to do. I'm still having a hard time deciding whether to let her initiate everything. I did call her two days ago just to say Hi. (She had complained that I can never do that without talking about the same R talk). She seemed annoyed and short on the phone so I ended the conversation quickly. I made sure I said "well, I just wanted to see how you were doing"

well, if that's the case, how would you do a 180? I think you already did....but IMHO....let her initiate things are awhile. Difficult, yes, but necessary. Give her space and time to sort her stuff out. AS bad as we want this, you only make it worse by pursuing her. She thinks you calling is pursing. Don't do it.

Today we had the shortest ever email exchange:

W: "how are you?"
Me: "Wonderful, and you?"
W: "I'm great! :)"

....ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooK. What was THAT all about?

don't waste your energy/time thinking about it. Live for the moment. that's what Bworl told me to do. Stop analyzing every little interaction that you have with your W. Just take it that she wnated to see how you were...and that's it.

stay strong....