Slow and steady wins the race... hopefully!

[JCJ]

Hi Mike

You are right in so many ways. Especially on this one.

It's not a failure if you can walk away or look back and say, "I did all I could"..that's not a failure. Failure is Walking Away and not looking back, not trying, not working.

I have recently come to realise that my friends and family all keep it at the forefront of my mind. A classic example of this is this morning when a friend texted me to see how I was and I replied saying fine but I have a bit of a summer cold. She replied saying it was probably because I was run down - that isn't the case at all, I just travel into London everyday on a very busy train so am in close proximity to people. In fact someone sneezed on my on Tuesday - nice! I know she meant well, but I am doing pretty good at the moment and it brings everything back to the forefront of my mind. Mind you, it was my fault really for moaning about the cold so maybe I should work on my responses to that!

I don't have a lot of distractions in my life as I now live alone (well, with my cat) in the house we used to share and pretty much work on my own too. I thought seeing friends and things were a distraction as I do that a lot but they aren't at all as they all remind me of my life with h and how really I would much rather be with h. I might start looking onto some evening art classes to take my mind off things and meet new people. I have been meaning to do this for a while.

the reason for this is probably because weekends are usually thought of as "family time"

Also, for some reason this hadn't really occurred to me. Friday nights I don't mind, it's waking up Saturday morning that does it for me.

I do worry thought that detaching too much will mean I am letting go of my h, and I know that is the point, but it is scary. It is really hard to keep love alive when you are being treated so and I don't want to lose that love...