HM I am so sorry for what you are going through. Have you spoken with an atty? We lived in Indiana at the time of bomb #1 and I called a womans hotline and was able to get a free 20 min consult with an atty. She was amazing and gave me some excellent advice, she is in Valpo.
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011