Slow and steady wins the race... hopefully!

[ernest88]

It is really important that I fill my weekends as they are my danger time.

Julia, the reason for this is probably because weekends are usually thought of as "family time". The family is sort of broken now, there's a piece missing, so this is a trigger. Friday's used to really suck for me. I rode the coaster like crazy on Friday.

Mike - thank you so much for reading through and posting. I am trying really hard to detach but it seems to be taking me a long time. I really tend to beat myself up which doesn't help, even if it's about taking too much time in detaching I can't seem to accept failure in any shape or form even if it's just my own perception of failure! I hope that I have self-awareness though and usually know when I am reacting not detaching so it helps me in a taking a step back - even if it's a few hours/ days later

Not a problem. Takes a long time to truly detach. The quicker you detach the sooner you can remove all the emotion/drama. The quicker you can remove the emotion/drama then the better off you'll be. Self doubt..I know it well. It's hard to beleive in anybody or anything in these sitches. it's hard to trust your own judgement at times.

I can't seem to accept failure in any shape or form even if it's just my own perception of failure

It's not a failure if you can walk away or look back and say, "I did all I could"..that's not a failure. Failure is Walking Away and not looking back, not trying, not working.

You're here, you posted, you're not a failure.

I guess you just keep trying then one day you realize you’re detached and its been a while since you have thought about it. That would be nice.

That's it. That's pretty much what happens. It's in the front of your mind at the start, then it just sort of drifts to the back.
GAL'ing like crazy helps push it back I think. Staying busy helps push it back. Enjoying your kids helps push it back. You would think that friends and family would help push it back but in reality they "keep it forward" by trying to rescue you and get you out of harms way..