Kelly, you and I sound very similar. My H left 9 months ago not from an affair but just found out about OW myself. Confronted him and he told me he has known her 6 weeks approx. After being with me for 25 yrs and having 2 kids then leaving for his father's house stating he is divorcing me he meets OW and now OW is there every night. I am upset with my children around, they have enough going around but H says he has only introduced her as a friend and doesn't do anything inappropriate-well unless they catch looks between us he says. 6 weeks! Did he not learn anything from us???? Clearly not. It pains me more than I can even admit. I haven't slept or eaten. I told him I will not pick up the kids if she is there, I will wait at the corner. Do I need it in my face every night so I am hysterical for hours afterwords?
I wish I had an answer for you, but I think we all just have to be miserable to not be. I think time is the only healer personally and it takes too much time. If we just hated them we wouldn't have these problems. At least yours is still speaking to you. I get treated like a lower speciies, not even a hello at times. I finally told him to stop avoiding me and we had a 1/2 cell conversation where I confronted him and told him we must talk face to face. Though it must be difficult seeing him in person every day if he is still at home. Housework is always a good distraction, and there is always plenty of it. My house was never cleaner than when he left in 05.
Best wishes.
Me 43 H 44 S-13 D-9 Separated 90 days 6/28/05 H Says he is done-10/2/06-day after 18th anniv Moved out 10/2/07-to father's house-day after 19th wedding anniv-GF now H Filed for D 7/08