Sometimes when we make ourselve better people it holds a mirror up to those around us and they don't like what they see in themselves and can't handle it - so they don't want to be around us. I saw this happen with friends I had when I quit drinking and started to improve my life. I only reminded them of what they weren't doing for themselves so they stopped hanging out with me.
Ken
Absolutely. We partially define ourselves using our definition of the people that are important to us. IF they change too much, we can lose our sense of who we are, our identity becomes threatened. In my sitch, my changes have shook things up. I don't fit into her neat little box any more. I saw some small progress. Then, she was staying with the kids over the weekend and got the impression that I hadn't changed much as a Dad and I think this mentally allowed her to turn the box around and look at it from another angle and say to herself. See, Dan still fits in that box. That's fine, it just shows me another area for 180s.
(((KJo))) thanks for the encouragement on my thread in Infidelity. Catching up on your sitch, there is a lot of support and good info from your friends here. I know it hurts, but, you can stay strong and do this.
