Just wanted to drop by and give you a ((((((HUG))))))).
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08
I decided to(calmly)confront H once again with his dishonesty. I was very vague about what I know and he kept denying it. I insisted that he has continued to be disloyal. I told him that I love him, that I want our M to work and I want to keep our family together but that I will not accept his dishonesty. I told him that words are no longer enough, that I will need to see actions corresponding with his words. I now realize that we can't work on our M living so far apart. He continues to lie to me and for my own sanity I have to detach completely.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I hope your H comes to his senses soon. I guess since he knows you guys are so far apart there's no way you can ever know what's going on. He has no idea that you have access to his email?
Maybe detaching completely will make him realize what a fool he's been. I guess that because you're always there for him he takes you for granted.
I'm sorry for him because not everyone has a spouse that has been as supportive as you have been. He doesn't truely realize how blessed he is.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Last night I blew it big time. H called and I was feeling extremely angry over all the lies especially in the last month. All the anger came flooding out. I called him a liar and a cheater. I told him I've lost all patience with his lies. I went on and on. He said nothing (very typical reaction for him). I told him that the only way we can work on our M is if he moves back to our hometown, there is no other way. (He has actually brought this up a couple of times recently but on impulse.) He said very little throughout my rant. Words will no longer suffice. I'm prepared to go dark if I don't see steps taken on his part. We can't work on the M living this far apart - too much damage has been done.
Me47 H46 S13 M16 Piecing since May/09
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." Lou Holtz
I don't think you blew it. I'm sure he realizes now that you know specifics, that you're not just fishing. He is probably beginning to wonder whether you hired a P.I. to tail him, or if maybe you are in contact with OW. If you are still able to check his email, it will be interesting to see if he still continues to contact OW, also to run personals adds.
