interesting. i believe i have trouble detaching....a little anyways..LOL...
i really think my biggest problem is forgiving myself for how i treated her......it's like i had this image of myself that i was this great husband...and in many ways i probably was/still am....but not inthe ones i BELIEVED i was good at.....and i hurt her. if i could just DO that, then i think i could be completely OK......it's like i'm lookig for her to forgive me before i can forgive myself....and in my mind, forgiveness from her, is obviously, reconciliation.
that's a problem i need to get past.
How?
any ideas? and please don't say i just have to forgive myself...because i know that. I need something more action oriented.
Man...I am going to be no help to you bud. You are me...LOL. Those are my thoughts to a tee...if she could just forgive me everything would be OK. Then everyone says to forgive yourself. That is not me as I have spent most of my life beating myself up for past mistakes. My motto in life has always been...shoulda - woulda - coulda.
I think I have at least got to a point where I know what I have to do. As much "fun" as I have had with the wife the last few months, I am finally looking at things a little more seriously. Mostly I just thought if I kept her entertained and had fun she would come around....well four months of that and we did have fun, but she is still on track....and if you read my last post, the two of us probably 2 steps away from AA. Wonder if she would go with me for support??? Not funny, I know, but man have we drank like marines the last few months.
Now, just like you, how to detach, how to get my mind off this and GAL. The ideas are all there, I just have to break free from the thought process I have imprinted on my brain the last few months...which is the one I put there after the last 20 years...trying again tonight. Wife is at her brothers, so at least I won't see her as soon as I get home. I will try to get focused on something else so when she gets there I am not focusing on her.
