Just wanted to tell you that I picked up my FitFlops today!!! I feel like a rock star in them!!!
Need to thank you for mentioning them on your thread.. without you I never would have known about them. Hopefully in a few months time my legs and buns will be able to thank you too!!!
Hugest of hugs! W2G
PS.. and no pressure.. but "get that affidavit done" so that it's no longer hanging over your head. ((((((Gypsy))))))
Oh, sweet friend. No more procrastination. Aren't you the one who loving lectures us on the meaning behind our procrastination? Stubbornness, fear, anger? Is that right?
Take control of your future, darling friend. Don't let this bite you in the bum.
(((((((((((((((Beautiful Gypsy))))))))))))
M: 37 H: 36 Married: Aug 13, 2004 Decision to Divorce: July 20, 2008 Reconciled: September 2008 Current: Ambivalence
The financial affidavit is done.. or at least as done to the best of my ability without going bonkers on perfectionism for the temporary orders. I was so worried about getting it perfect that I didn't get it right!
He's taking the boys out to dinner tonight. Aside from wanting to get work done, I don't trust him near the house. I'm staying here until he drops them off and leaves. Watch this be the one time he's with them longer than 1 hour and 15 minutes.
They still need my help for the play.. ugh.. such a conflict. I spent all day with my patookie parked in front of the computer doing work and had just enough time to take my daughter for one more purchase for the play and grab a sandwich from the local deli. I figured I could do her stage makeup in the time it took for them to make two sandwiches. Ta Da.. I did it. I wonder why I don't put that minimum amount of effort into myself. The guys said that it was like watching a rose bloom as I added each component.
I flop with my flips and try to walk faster. There was something about leaning a little more forward that does something. Aren't they comfy? They're amazing!
As I was driving home part of me was anxious about seeing him or if he'd come into the house. I imagined all sorts of standoffs, or being calm cool and collected.
Finally I started affirmations.. "I will not live his anger." I will not be a reflection of his anger.
Now I realize he doesn't give a crap. What I whirl in my head is my own making. I have to remember to live my own life. If they aren't back by my deadline, I'll leave. Don't want my fear of him going through the house to paralyze me.
I'm just amazed at how much I don't trust him.. or maybe secretly hope that he'd invade.. that even negative attention is attention (the modus operandi of our relationship). Argghhh.. toooo much.. suuuuugarrrrrrrrrrrrr!
The kids got back having been out a little bit longer than normal. We visited a little, talking about the dog, just sharing some quiet time. My daughter has taken up so much time, between the boys schedule and hers I haven't seen much of them.
I've made some friendships with the moms who are helping on the play. One mom and I have become an incredible team, designing costumes, creating the most wondrous things. Tonight as I was adding flourish to a period dress that had seen better days, we watched one of the younger children get more and more excited as her costume came alive. My mom friend said, "You made this happen.. You did this!" She went on to tell me I don't give myself enough credit, that I can do more than I think I can. My favorite thing to say is "I don't do hand sewing." I'm too good at drawing blood.
When I arrived late to our work area (in the middle of the girl's changing room (we help them get dressed, too) my mom friend gave me the sweetest, longest, biggest hug. I just stayed there and relaxed in her embrace. Usually I'm the one hugging, but she gave to me. It was wonderful.
I still have trouble believing this is going through..
