Thanks Jon. I posted over in the regrets thread, that my only regret is not being strong enough to keep my nose out of her business. I could stand in there and accept the blame for everything. I could stand and validate her pain. I'm not sure that it will help. I would be more positive about MC if I saw it as anything more than something she is doing to appear as if she is willing to work on things. That actually sounds worse than I mean. I think that my W would like our M to work out. I think there are several problems. First, I think that part of her wants things that she knows won't be acceptable. Second, aside from the unacceptable things, she doesn't really know what she wants in an affirmative sense. Third, I think at some deep level she knows that she is part of the problem, but, she has spent a lifetime dodging the responsibility for the bad things that have happened to her in life and though she knows she has problems, she can't face them and grow. Perhaps she will grow. Perhaps as I make massive changes in my role as a father, something will click inside and she will start to grow. I will remain open and will work on this M until we are D and one of us is in a committed relationship to someone else.
You're welcome. There are a handful of threads that I follow and I try to give back as I can.
