Mulesqb - Still alive and Kickin'

[Bworl]

No need to be thinking about selling your house right now.

No need to be thinking about a legal separation right now.

Mules, I don't want to offend you by what I'm about to say. I hope you know by now that I admire how you've handled your situation and that I want nothing but the best for you and your family.

There is no reason to be thinking those things above. You have on your hands a very troubled and confused woman. If she is truly different now, radically so I believe you indicated, than there is definitely something going on inside of her. She needs therapy, perhaps in the future a visit with a psychiatrist to see if medication is needed.

You do not have a viscious, mean spirited, hateful person on your hands.

This is a woman who has lost the joy in her life and has no idea why.

If she hated you and the boys, she would have long ago run off with the first available male body that came along.

She is torn because she cannot imagine life without all of you and your home, and at the same time can find no joy or satisfaction in it. She KNOWS she has changed, and again, does not know why. She is even torn between defending herself and accepting responsibility for the state of things between you.

I know this has been hard on you and the boys. I'm really sorry for that. But this is where you GUYS step up and become the foundation of your home.

She wants to go on the trip. She wants YOU to go on the trip. Do you have any idea how many people on this board would KILL to have a spouse that WANTS to go on trip with them?

I guess what I'm saying is that I think there is too much focus on the negatives, and not enough acknowledgement that there are positives her as well. Or at the least, there are a lot of NON-negatives.

I think she needs help. Both professionally and from her husband. I think she needs consistency. She is watching your every expression and listening to your every word, just waiting, it seems to me, for the day that you cut her loose. And I don't mean that she's looking forward to that - I think instead that it is one of her greatest fears.

I find much to feel compassionate about towards her. And towards you and the boys as well, because I know this has worn you out.

Your wife is still at home, troubled, but at home. She does NOT want to lose her family. She wants to do things with you, but has to take it in measured doses, otherwise she is overwhelmed.


I think you can do this. But you may have to start being a "glass is half full" kind of guy.


Blessings,

Bill