Would have chosen one of two stategies: Total exposure of the affair with ultimatums OR 100% text-book DB-ing with non-exposure and detatchement. I ended up in a half-half world which ended up hurting us. Better to be hot or cold. Lukewarm doesn't cut it.
--Theoden
I ended up in half-half world too. I think my R would be in a much different place if I hadn't.
Quote:
I'm still in the middle of things and not really sure if there is an A or not. My regret is that I wasn't strong enough to not snoop. W says that was the last straw.
Another part of the WAS script called "shifting the blame."
When H found out I had scrolled down the #'s on his cell he said he couldn't believe that I would stoop so low as to spy on him.
My response was that it may be just a bit better than changing someone's password to gain access to their cell phone records. (Information I had held onto until then)
Quote:
It doesn't take strength to NOT snoop, it takes strength TO snoop. To nut-up and stare the intel in the eye, take the body blows, and then pick yourself up off the mat and go take charge of your marriage and your life again takes courage and will change you forever -- REGARDLESS of whether or not you save your marriage.
I tend to agree w/PDT, although it may not be for everyone.
