The road goes ever on...

[ms ladybug]

Sounds like good interaction with your wife. She's warmed up a lot lately. It think she's not enjoying the single life like she thought she would.

Thanks for popping in on my thread.
If you get the chance, can you stop by again and explain Ephesians 5 (since you went to seminary). Thanks!

[jon2911]

Sounds like good interaction with your wife. She's warmed up a lot lately. It think she's not enjoying the single life like she thought she would.

I think you're exactly right. She's calling every night now. We were both out with friends last night, and she texted "how late can I call?" So, almost like we're scheduling a nightly call again

This morning she called to tell me about a funny news story she read. There's a company doing pedicures... using fish! Seriously. She remembered when we'd go to a local stream and let the fish nibble on our toes. So, good memories are coming back.

[LolaL]

Jon I heard about that story on the radio yesterday!! Ha ha. The interaction sounds really good.. and very promising!!!

[MichelleLT]

I saw that clip on the news! Totally GROSS IMHO.

But I'm glad she is contacting you more!

So many baby steps!

Just remember - don't go too fast. Don't let her push you even. Make sure you guys spend a lot of time rebuilding that friendship at a very deep level.

[redsawks44]

good for you Jon... i am happy things are baby stepping along..

[jon2911]

Text Saturday from W: "Today would be a nice day to go on a ride with you"

I texted "It's beautiful here, but would be better with you. Can I come next weekend and take you for a ride?"

Her: "We'll see about that"

Then a big R talk, which I'll update later.

[jon2911]

After the texts above, W called. Yesterday was our 1-year separation anniversary (yay!).

She said "I'd really like to see you next weekend, but are you still playing at church? I don't think I can budge on that". We talked for a while. A lot of "You say you're different, but you're still the same" statements. I told her it's the last thing I want for this to come between us, and she said "well, it has for five years".

Anyway, it's tough. All religion stuff aside, this is really my GAL. Yesterday I played two morning services, one evening, hung out with the guys in between. Their wives came and we had ate together and hung out until 10 PM. This happens every other Sunday night. When I tell W about it, she says things like "I hate musicians and everything they stand for". But she'd really relate to the wives, most of whom regret marrying a musician at times, and they're honest about it

I talked with a few guys about my sitch, including the worship pastor. He said "she's still in Houston, right?" He thought it was ridiculous for her to move away, then tell me what I can't do here. It would be different if she was moving back, trying to make it work, and asking me to take some time off. He said there's much bigger problems between us than me playing on Sundays. Also, he said the community is important. She's gone, what am I supposed to do, sit around?

I thanked him for his perspective, asked for a couple weeks off to meet with my counselor and make a good decision on this. W called today asking "do you hate me?" I told her absolutely not, that it was just awkward to deal with our car insurance yesterday (we need to decide on that by Aug. 9th). She also invited me to come for the whole weekend! We're already starting to make plans. I can't wait.

I feel like this is similar to ms ladybug's "move away with me" from her H. Interesting how the WAS still feels like they can still make demands on us, and sometimes the GAL ticks them off. So I'm trying to find a balance.

[LolaL]

Hey (((Jon)))

What does your pastor recommend in terms of this separation? Just curious, sometimes looking for the spritual aspect from different people.

[jon2911]

What does your pastor recommend in terms of this separation? Just curious, sometimes looking for the spiritual aspect from different people.

I think most pastors are at a loss in sitches like this, especially when an affair is involved. I don't know how far it went between W and OM, but they would base divorce on that. But divorce is a lot more painful and damaging than an affair, so that stance confuses me.

What I've gotten from most pastors and Christians is a lot of "your W shouldn't be acting like this" statements. Thanks guys, that's helpful :rollseyes:

There's a lot of real life that church ignores, and I want to help change that.

[jon2911]

Earlier, I explained to her that I'm taking time off from church, and getting some advice about the sitch from my counselor and other people. I said "I suck at this, but I'm trying". That seemed to get to her. It's the kind of thing I never said before. She said "well, you don't suck at everything". It was nice.

W just called and said "You've been spoiling me a lot lately, can I spoil you and make your favorite meal this weekend?" It was a really nice talk. This is the third time she's called today, got to get some work done...