BTW, I think your being too literal. Talk with Coastie. Listen to Coastie. Lighthouse, Coastie, the pirates, Jack three beans. Captain Jack. It all fits.

Quote:
How much of your reaction to your wife is based out of spite?


All of it. I mean if I'm understanding you correctly. She would yell at me about something in the past and I would be like whatever STFU. I'm not a 15 year old locked up in her compound.

Things were bad, but I was used to them being bad. I think it had plenty to do with the fact that she is immature. Now she has gotten more immature. Didn't think that was possible.

Now they are worse, and I'm trying to change it. Seriously I never saw her ever leaving.

I want to love, adore, and cherish the woman. I don't want to fight her. We constantly fought. I would have to say it was usually her causing the havoc, and most of the time I would recuse.

None of my reaction now is out of spite. Actually I'm more of in a tranz when I'm around her now. Which wife is going to show up. The angry bitter, venom spewing one. The nice one asking for small favors. The one wanted nothing but a little affection.

I'm in a traz, because I just want the moment to go well. I want to spend more time with her. Even last night I had an opportunity for her to stay longer. She was sick and I told the kids to get their shoes on so that mommy could leave. Plus she already hightened my anxiety. I want to hold her, she doesn't want held. If she is in my prescense that is all I can think about. Reaching out holding her hand. Hugging her. On the porch couple of weeks ago I just wanted to put my hands on her feet because of where she was sitting. I wanted to rub her feet because I know she was on the all day.

I was so dumb during WAW live in stage. I had her home and I pushed her away. I couldn't take her numbness towards me.