Kelly Jo The Wifey new thread.

[Continuing]

Hey Wifey!

Thanks for visiting me yesturday and for the encouragement! I don't really have much advice to give because, like you, I am still very new to all of this. But I have noticed a theme in you posts...

I am pathetic

Hmmm...thats not good. You have talked alot about not being strong or not doing what you should be doing.

I think you need to be more gracious with yourself.

Situations like these, I think, cause a war within us; an internal conflict between the part of us that wants to move on and the part that doesn't. I also think we spend a large amount of time focusing on the part that wants to move on (doing things for yourself) while trying to reduce the BEHAVIORS (calling, begging, pressure) that stem from the part that doesn't want to move on. But often we assume that because we are axing certain behaviors we can't/shouldn't feel sad or that we just need to get over it and detach.

I think mrz99 hit the nail on the head when we was talking about meditation. We cannot consistently deny any part of our experience otherwise we will always be in painful conflict with ourselves. So this is the hard part that can't be taught, accepting yourself as a whole, accepting your feelings, and becoming comfortable with discomfort.

Until you begin to accept yourself you cannot detach. Detachment isn't a technique, its a state of being, its a realization that we are all separate people and that thoughts, feelings, and actions are OURS and not effected by anyone else.

This pathetic talk...where does that come from? That isn't an answer I expect you to post here; but something to think about, maybe with your counselor.

At the heart of all that we are doing, I think, is becoming seperate, whole people. Everyone's journey to this end is different but it must be done or our own self-inflicted pain will continue.

In the end we must like ourselves.

We're all here for each other and it's ok to feel whatever you are feeling.

I'm reading along!!

B